Buvare: Dark and Stormy Night

Halloween! Not only my favorite holiday, but increasingly my favorite time of year to concoct potent potables, with a decidedly sinister edge. Last year's Witching Hour cocktail was brainy and elegant, but this year for our annual Table Set Halloween podcast I decided to brew something more approachable and thirst-quenching.

The Dark and Stormy is one of the simplest and most delightful cocktails, period. For my adaptation I introduced The Kraken, a black spiced rum of epic proportions, a spicy Jamaican ginger brew and several additional autumnal highlights. Leaving out the eye of newt, this time...

Listen to The Table Set: Dark and Stormy Night

Last year with the glut of pumpkin bourbon I infused for the Witching Hour, I made this impromptu punch for my friends. It was consumed within minutes. Highly recommended for your own gathering of ghouls, named for the Halloween party held in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow before Ichabod Crane's infamous ride home. Beware!

Gala Parfait: Tiki Party

Tiki has become something special to me over the years.
It is not just a kitschy party theme, type of cloyingly sweet drank, or dive bar category. Bizarrely enough it's filed alongside heavyweights like Christmas and New Year's as an important family tradition. Yes, my parents, sister and I do Tiki. And if I do say so myself, we do it damn well.

Initially, the end of summer Tiki Party at my parents' home in Tucson was a heavily-anticipated annual celebration. A break from large family gatherings brimming with kids ("we love your keikis, but this one is for adults"), and the rare party to really have a focus on drinking. Since I was college-aged when the Tiki Party debuted, I was not only surprised by this, but fully on board! Each year seemed to one-up the prior, adding a pit-roasted whole pig, ukelele orchestra, and even tradition hula dancers in full garb. It was a fantastic tradition.

Then one year the invite never went out. Then another year. The masses were restless, when would there be another Tiki Party? I tried to sate myself in California with regular visits to Tiki Ti, Tonga Room, Trader Sam's and with a big fat Tiki episode on my podcast The Table Set, but it wasn't enough. Once I found out my sister Megan missed it as much as me we conspired to convince my parents by any means necessary to bring it back.

Then this year... we finally succeeded.

It's always a whirlwind driving home to Arizona and jumping in to the preparations. It's also always startling opening the fridge in the garage to see Laura Palmer as a pig, awaiting the sacrificial pyre.

Day of, first thing's first - Get that pig going. It takes all afternoon to get a proper tender slow-cooked Kalua-style pig.

The photo opp murals Megan painted are always a hit.

And while the tables are set, I have my hands full with another task.

Shocking, I know - I manage the bar. With the addition of the bamboo tiki hut-style bar this year, things got serious.

Selecting a menu is hardly an easy task. Each year we debate, recounting drink popularity from the previous parties. The true Mai Tai is our collective favorite, but seems to be too boozy for our guests, as we always have the most leftover of it. The Blue Hawaiian is garish, but always a winner. We pre-mix everything in large batches as well, so the recipe has to work in that format - and some ingredients, such as bitters, intensify over time. This year I decided to select all new drinks; Classics that cover very different flavor profiles as well as liquor variety. No need to be rum snobs - It's just not for everybody.

In lieu of the signature Mai Tai I went out on a limb with South Pacific Punch, a potent blend of dark and light rums, fresh orange and lime juices, Falernum and passion fruit syrup. Not for the faint of heart, I think the profile of the spicy Falernum is what set this drink apart.

To satisfy the sweet drink lovers, instead of a neon blue concoction (I just can't get down with Blue Curaçao) I opted for the popular Chi Chi, a vodka-based riff on the Piña Colada with coconut cream, pineapple juice and a dust of nutmeg. Sometimes simplicity is best.

For the first time we introduced a bourbon-based tiki drink, which turned out to be the crowd favorite, the ominous-sounding Polynesian Paralysis. Akin to a Hawaiian-style Mai Tai, this one blends pineapple and citrus juices with orgeat, which marry nicely with the bourbon for a dangerously smooth sipper.

We always try to think of creative ways to keep designated drivers and non-drinkers in on the fun, and this year hibiscus lemonade and tropical iced tea just wasn't going to cut it, so I whipped up a non-alcoholic tiki classic Rainbow Punch. Here pineapple, orange, and lime juices are blended with grenadine, soda, and bitters for a well-disguised virgin.

It was an exhausting night of shaking drinks, so I was happy to have some relief long enough to get in on the Kalua pig and Polynesian potluck before it was all gone.

Perlana, one of the "best dressed" winners enjoys a Chi Chi.

Yes, no matter how much math and careful planning goes into our batch drink making, we always over-do it and have SO much leftover. Not a huge complaint, but it suffices to say that Tiki Party turns into Tucson Tiki WEEK. Aw well, maybe we'll get it right next year... Oh yes, there will be a next year.

Buvare: Gilded Cava Punch

It's awards show season!
On the Table Set we have been discussing how to gussy up your next plain ol' TV party into something to remember. This honey-kissed sparkling punch that I created for Homefries U would make a classy sipper for an Oscar party, or an upscale afternoon with Oscar the Grouch.

Listen to The Table Set: Stay Tuned

Gilded Cava Punch

1 pint Krupnik Honey Liqueur
1 cup Dolin Blanc Vermouth
1 cup fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup rich simple syrup*
4 bottles Cava Brut
1 liter club soda
Fee Brothers Plum Bitters

In a pitcher, combine honey liqueur, vermouth, lemon juice, rich simple syrup and 10 dashes of bitters, cover and refrigerate until chilled, about 2 hours. To serve, pour the mixture over a large block of ice in a punch bowl and slowly add chilled Cava and club soda. Garnish with lemon wheels.
Serve in wine goblets.

*Rich Simple Syrup

1 cup demerara sugar
1/2 cup water

Combine sugar and water in a small saucepan and stir over low heat until a rich syrup develops. Remove from heat, cool, and store in the refrigerator for up to 1 month.

Gala Parfait: Yuletide Christmas Punch

On The Table Set, I am referred to as the "punch guy." So for our holiday party I knew I really had to step it up and make something special. In lieu of a default sparkling wine punch with cranberries and lemon wheels I delved further, exploring old English Christmas punches and colonial tea-based punches. I came up with this Yuletide Christmas Punch, borrowing from the best and creating a mellow, dry, spicy and earthy rum punch that warms the soul while it quenches.

Yuletide Christmas Punch

These ingredients should make two healthy batches. Note that the strong black tea and demerara syrup can be made well in advance, and all ingredients chilled until the punch is mixed. (The ice mold is not meant to chill the ingredients as much as retain their cool temperature.)

1 bottle (750ml) dark rum
1 bottle (750ml) spiced rum
1 bottle (750ml) brandy
1 bottle (750ml) dry Lambrusco
2 liters club soda
1 quart strong black tea
1 cup fresh orange juice
1 cup fresh lemon juice
2 cups demerara sugar
3 small oranges or tangerines
cinnamon stick
cloves
star anise
tarragon
nutmeg

One day ahead, fill a bundt pan with water, cover with plastic wrap and freeze overnight.

Prepare strong tea by bringing a quart of water to a near boil. Pour into a heat-proof vessel with 8 black tea bags and cinnamon stick. Set aside to steep and cool.

Return saucepan to stove and begin warming a pint of water over medium heat.

Rub a lemon in a non-reactive dish of sugar until the sugar takes the color from the lemon, absorbing its oils. Add a splash of hot water and stir to make a paste, or 'sherbet'. Set aside.

Add 2 cups demerara sugar to the saucepan and stir until completely dissolved and syrup just comes to a boil. Remove from heat and let cool.

Using the tip of a knife, score and stud oranges with cloves to make pomanders. Wrap in foil and place in the oven at 200 degrees for ten minutes or until fragrant. Remove from the oven.

In a punch bowl combine exactly half the bottles of Lambrusco, rums, brandy, tea and juices. Stir in the sherbet, and demerara syrup to taste, approximately half of the batch.

Remove decorative ice mold from freezer. Place bundt pan into a bowl of warm water to loosen the ice from the mold. Carefully lower ice mold (or block ice) into punch base, and top with one liter chilled club soda. Garnish with pomanders, fresh tarragon sprigs, star anise, and a generous dusting of freshly grated nutmeg.

When the punch requires refreshment, add the remaining ingredients and stir until combined.

Buvare: One-Eyed Gypsy

Perched on the edge of the LA river just east of Downtown, one of the oldest running bars in the city's history is changing its sign once more. You may have visited the Bordello in the past couple of years, a tawdry den festooned with beaded curtains and red light, an homage to the building's roots (the second floor originally housed a brothel). Or perhaps some time back you watched a band play at Little Pedro's, another prior appellation.
"A man who used to bartend here in the seventies came in, told us they used to pry .45s out of the bar - that's how old this place is," a wide-eyed bartender with a sly smile told me, sliding a gold-rimmed glass of punch my way.
Clearly history is omnipresent in the new incarnation of the bar, a gilded sideshow rightfully called One-Eyed Gypsy.

Opening Friday, the space was redesigned by visionary Dana Hollister (Villains Tavern, Cliff's Edge) and reads like a valentine to a sword swallower. The massive bar plays center stage, braced with gold-framed mirrors, busts and statues. Circus-like curtains are drawn about a cabaret stage - only to be raised for any number of off-beat entertainer, be it magician, singer, or fire eater. Candles flicker. Chandeliers drip with Bedouin jewelry imported from Egypt. Functioning fortune telling machines flash their weathered boardwalk bulbs.

Two working skee-ball lanes and a massive stuffed yak prove Odalisque designer Hollister isn't not messing around on this one. Not to mention the Medusa wallpaper was custom designed and coffee-stained by hand.

But Hollister's goal, tricks aside, is to create a real neighborhood bar with the Gypsy.
So what about the potables? The Surley Sailor is a tastier grog than the sum of its parts (Gosling's Dark Rum, white rum, 151, blackberries, fresh pineapple, lime), but I preferred The Riddler's Punch, a refreshingly dry sangria with Haute Vodka, Cabernet, fresh fruit & citrus juices. A selection of "Cheap Dates" run only $8, including Gypsy Juice, a sexy hippie sipper of Plymouth Gin, citrus, sloe gin & hard apple cider.

I nibbled on selections from the menu's twisted county fair fare, such as sweet potato tots and bbq pork & jalapeño pizza, while the same eccentric barmaid spun tales of "ghostly white woman" who used to walk the halls upstairs (before an earthquake in the eighties leveled that story). 

"Tell yours, Dave!" she called to bar manager Dave Young, who reticently recounted a day when he was stocking the bar and a voice behind him softly said his name, only to find he was in fact all alone. I saw the bartender's eyes shift to the woman behind Dave.

"Oh, hey - Are you the psychic?"

901 E. 1st St., Downtown LA 90012
One-Eyed Gypsy

Homefries U!

If these ladies look like they're up to something... That's because they are.

Joy the Baker and Tracy Shutterbean Benjamin are the stars of the Joy the Baker Podcast on a little network I sometimes talk about called Homefries. They like to have fun, talk about doughnuts, relationships, cookies, travel, sticky buns, and wombats. But what if for one weekend they could [literally] share the fun with their listeners?

One house in Palm Springs, some help from some friends, and a freezer full of ice cream later and Homefries U was totally in session!

Guests were greeted Friday night with - what else? Punch! I made up this batch of deliciousness with Krupnik Honey Liqueur, Dolin Blanc vermouth, fresh lemon juice, soda, Fee's Plum Bitters and a healthy dose of Cava Brut. Yowza!

Joy and Tracy made everyone addictively edible soup for dinner - vegan coconut carrot ginger heaven or chunky delish tomato situation. Winners.

After dinner there was, well, more punch to finish! And nails to paint. That's right. Not your average food blogger gathering. SEO? What's that, a sparkly blue?

Morning meant coffee cake, choco-studded banana bread, fresh fruit and lots of coffee.

An informative photo workshop led into the really good stuff - A brunch cooking demo. Joy and Tracy worked out a killer how-to brunch menu from A to Z. Then we ate it, of course.

Frittata time. Tracy doesn't mess around with bell peppers. Lady's got skills.

Breakfast pizza: the way into any sane person's heart.

After brunch everyone took a break for fizzy cucumber spritzers and pool time. Even Joy!

Craft hour included making herbal and fruit sugar infusions. And friendship bracelets. What else?

Happy hour is when things started getting REAL. Spiced nuts, cured salumi, and fresh-popped corn whet everyone's palate for a LOT of booze tasting.

Whitney from The Crush came out to teach everyone how to be a sexy sparkling wine dilettante in four tasty steps. And a frugal one at that, each wine is available for under $20 at DomaineLA.

Trust me, Whitney knows her stuff. And this Grotta del Sole Gragnano rules.

Cocktail time! Still a little loopy from the bubbles, I wasted little time getting everyone in a tizzy about one of my favorite and oft misunderstood spirits - Gin.

And you really can't talk about the history of gin without addressing its grandaddy, Dutch Genever, a malty juniper spirit back on the market thanks to Lucas Bols, the oldest Dutch distillery still in production. A distilled malt wine, Genever resembles a malt Scotch or white whiskey more than gin, and is great on its own, sipped out of a tulip glass alongside a beer (the traditional way) or mixed in an old-fashioned.

We also talked about London Dry, Plymouth, and New American styles of gin. And you can't leave out Hendrick's. If anything will convert a room of skeptics, a chilled sip of Scottish Hendrick's Gin with a cucumber slice does the trick. To lead into dinner we mixed up a bevy of Aviation cocktails with Plymouth Gin, the most winning of the pack.

What would a Sunday morning be without doughnuts? Joy and Tracy couldn't disappoint, and absolutely did not with their chocolate glazed and powdered perfect confections. (Not kidding, this chocolate doughnut was the best I've EVER had. EVER, people!)

After breaky, Tracy raided the spice rack for a expose on the real what's what and when to use it.

And what would a "conference" be without gift bags and a raffle? We wrapped up some goodies for our new friends so they could relive the best weekend ever once they got home. But the Real Housewives DVDs? Those were Joy's, sorry y'all.

Keep an eye out in early 2012 for Homefries U Spring Break! We're just getting started...

Homefries.com