Gala Parfait: Home Bar 101

Interventions are not just for people. Sometimes they are for home bars too.

Disemboweling my home bar

I realized last week that my home bar was getting gnarly. A hot mess of a booze-fest, really. Over-crowded bottles spilled off of my bar cart and onto the floor, some almost empty, lightly dusted and despondent. And so Spring cleaning came late, and my cart got a desperately needed makeover.

I have a problem. In this cocktilian age, when most drink lists contain spirits most people have never heard of, much less own a bottle of, to me it spells "challenge." I browse specialty liquor stores like I'm flipping through records. Next thing I know I have a top-heavy bar chock-full of liqueurs like Strega and Becherovka keeping a much-needed bottle of Old Overholt Rye off the farm.

So in renovating my home bar, I decided to approach things from a fresh perspective. Namely, someone putting together their first home bar, with entertaining and flexibility on their mind. Let's be clear, setting up a home bar is better not taken on all at once. Build up your spirit and bar tool collection gradually, starting with the necessities for one or two cocktails. Expand on a need-based philosophy.

The Overview. Let's list it out:

Hardware. Cocktail shaker (I prefer a two-piece Boston shaker), strainer, jigger, fine mesh strainer, muddler, citrus juicer or reamer, barspoon, vegetable peeler, ice cube trays (I use Tovolos).

Glassware. There are four major categories as far as I am concerned that aptly cover most cocktail needs: Old Fashioned or Rocks glass, chimney-style Highball glass, Cocktail or Coupe stemmed glass, and Champagne flute.

Spirits. Bourbon Whiskey, Rye Whiskey, Scotch Whisky, White Rum, Dark Rum, London Dry Gin, Cognac, Reposado Tequila, Vodka.

Mixers & Liqueurs. Dry Vermouth, Rosso Vermouth, Cointreau or Triple Sec, Herbsaint, Maraschino Liqueur, Angostura Bitters, Peychaud’s Bitters, Orange Bitters.

Setting it up. For starters, I cleared off the main work surface of my bar cart, reserving it for my "well." I installed a shelf just above this surface for my "top shelf" selections, special bottles collected over time like small-batch bourbons and smuggled Czech Absinth. Below I stowed my mixers, specialty liqueurs, exotic bitters, and spirit varietals. While liquor will keep for a long time in a cool place away from direct sunlight, remember vermouth is a wine product and should be kept in the refrigerator for a longer life.

Sazerac by Dave Stolte

For further reading, a wonderful asset is Dave Stolte's new book Home Bar Basics (And Not-So-Basics). Visit his website which covers the broad strokes, priming home bar virgins with what he considers to be the accoutrements required for making the "12 basic drinks."

But Rule #1 - Don't be daunted. Start small. After all, this is supposed to be fun!

Speaking of fun, check out the latest episode of
the Table Set podcast in which Greg, Andy and I discuss stocking your home bar, pantry, spice rack, and fridge for impressing impromptu guests. And introduce our new co-host - The Little Gay Record Player!

Listen to The Table Set: Shumai On The Fly!

Buvare: Distillery Row

Portland is pretty sly.
Disguised as a sleepy town, the artisans there are often, sneakily, a few steps ahead. Especially in the booze department.
Let's not forget the liquid treasure produced by the vineyard-filled Oregon valleys surrounding Portland that shook up the American wine world, or where the craft beer movement established a formidable foundation.
Several years back, I visited Clear Creek Distillery in industrial NW Portland, at the time a refreshingly anomalous producer of eaux de vie, grappa and wine brandy. Nowadays, Portland has so many craft distilleries that they have their own district deemed Distillery Row and a passport to guide you through it. Clearly this is not something I would pass by. Listen up.

Aware that intoxication was a fair prediction for the afternoon, I opted for the distilleries within walking distance of each other. Unfortunately, due to tasting hours as well, that ruled out Stone Barn Brandyworks in SE's Brooklyn neighborhood. (Alas, something to look forward to for next time.)
And so we started out at Integrity Spirits, ready for the first stamp in our adorable passport (which cost $20, and waives tasting fees at all distilleries on the self-guided tour).

I was familiar with Integrity's Lovejoy Vodka, a beautifully designed bottle housing a lightly viscous vodka with hints of chamomile. Yummy.

The 12 Bridges Gin was my favorite, with a bright blend of herbs and spices reminiscent of Hendrick's (light juniper and that hint of cucumber).

The Hazelnut Vodka was a nutty punch to the palate, super tasty and roasty. Almost Nutella-like with cocoa character.

Next we sampled two batches of infused vodkas under the Sub Rosa label. The Tarragon was fresh and vegetal with licorice and pepper notes (a fun booze for cooking). The bright yellow Saffron was complex with lemony coriander, cumin, and pepper notes.

Integrity is famous for their Trillium Absinthe Supèrieure, Oregon’s first absinthe and one of the first in the US after it became legal. The 120 proof absinthe is intended to be diluted and sweetened per traditional ritual, which we prepared during the tasting. The result was one of the smoothest, most palatable absinthes I've enjoyed.

Next up was New Deal Distillery down the street. Known for their vodka, I was most impressed with the range of product New Deal presented. All exceptionally well-executed.

I was startled by the drinkability of New Deal Vodka. Smooth "sipping vodka" with clean botanicals and an easy finish. Even the 88, a traditional vodka distilled in copper stills, bottled at 88 proof. A piece of cake! A delicious piece of cake.

I got really excited when we moved to the handsome Gin No. 1 and Gin No. 3. A study for purists, these are two very different gins using juniper as the sole botanical. The first is a less-refined early-Dutch-style gin, cloudy, lightly yellow, and viscous. This is not a mixing gin, it is meant to be sipped neat and enjoyed. The latter, Gin No. 3 is bright and complex, shocking such a melange of flavors (pine, mint, citrus) could come purely from juniper berries. Absolutely delectable. This was a gin I needed to own (and do).

We tasted a lovely coffee liqueur and new ginger liqueur, but both were eclipsed by the Mud Puddle. Unlike most cloying chocolate-flavored liqueurs, here cacao is added to this spirit prior to distillation for a dry and subtle, rich after-dinner treat.
The brave of us finished off the tasting with a fiery shot of Hot Monkey, a piquant blend of five Southwestern chili peppers, lending just enough heat to keep you wanting more. Forget the bloody mary, this stuff is great on its own or with a splash of tropical fruit juice.

Overall I was most excited for our visit to House Spirits, which was the perfect place to finish off the increasingly galvanizing day.

Known for their Aviation Gin, the owners at House Spirits were more like hosts, and us their guests. They offered Aviation and Fever Tree tonics as we perused the shop before diving into the tasting. Their famous full-bodied, Dutch-style recipe blends juniper, cardamom, coriander, lavender, anise seed, sarsaparilla and dried sweet orange peel. This stuff is major.

A growing star among the ranks at House Spirits is their Krogstad Aquavit, an invigorating take on the traditional Scandinavian spirit lightly spiced with star anise and caraway seed. A chilled glass will warm even your winteriest nights!

We quickly moved to the big guns, the Limited Release Line. These small-batch specialty stunners range in production from a few cases to a few pallets, each apothecary bottle numbered.

We got to check out Gammal Krogstad, a barrel-aged version of the previous Aquavit, rested for 10 month in 3 barrels (a 53 gallon House Spirits whiskey barrel and two 30 gallon used House Spirits rum barrels). The blend of the three produced a honeyed grandfather to the crisp Aquavit, with deep amber resonant notes.

Then we tried the White Dog.
House Spirits White Dog un-aged whiskey (50% abv) is made from 100% malted barley and Oregon Bull Run water. Unlike moonshine, White Dog starts big and rich, with a malty nose, chewy mouthfeel, and insanely disparate flavors from white pepper to lemon peel, flower petal to Halloween candy. I shouted "WHOA" when I took my first taste, and "more?" after my second. This was my trophy bottle of the day, and if you can find it, recommend you buy it at once. You won't be sorry.

So yeah, we were pretty tanked by the end of the day. But all the better for wandering into random rose garden picnics.
I love you, Portland. Thank you for being so good to me. Until next time...

distilleryrowpdx.com

Buvare: Kask

When you have a hit on your hands, what comes next? For the folks at Grüner, the answer is open a badass, invitingly-pretentious downtown cocktail room around the corner.
Enter Kask. The kids love it. The product is immaculate. The space is... a mining den? Whatever, it's adorable. You'll love it.

Judah is a man about town. He knew the pretty bartender. He ordered off-menu. He asked for a Gunsmoke and she broke out the big matches.

After a few minutes smoking his inverted bucket glass, she filled it with Rittenhouse Rye, Gran Classico, Combier Rouge, bitters and burnt orange. It smelled like heaven. A burned-out, destitute version of heaven, anyway. Deeelicious.

I was wooed by the exotic odd-man-out on the menu, the High Desert Swizzle. This summer slow-burner paired Del Maguey Vida mezcal with strawberry shrub, lime, and demerara sugar. At first smoky with a vinegar punch, it finished fruity-bright and mellowly sweet. Dangerously addictive. And not unlike an agave-spiked Strawberry Kiwi Mister Misty (that's a good thing).

I was impressed with Kask, the sexiest drinking den in downtown Portland yet. Even if the chairs are borrowed from a kindergarten classroom, they bring us all that little bit closer...

1215 SW Alder St. Portland, OR 97205
grunerpdx.com/kask

Buvare: One-Eyed Gypsy

Perched on the edge of the LA river just east of Downtown, one of the oldest running bars in the city's history is changing its sign once more. You may have visited the Bordello in the past couple of years, a tawdry den festooned with beaded curtains and red light, an homage to the building's roots (the second floor originally housed a brothel). Or perhaps some time back you watched a band play at Little Pedro's, another prior appellation.
"A man who used to bartend here in the seventies came in, told us they used to pry .45s out of the bar - that's how old this place is," a wide-eyed bartender with a sly smile told me, sliding a gold-rimmed glass of punch my way.
Clearly history is omnipresent in the new incarnation of the bar, a gilded sideshow rightfully called One-Eyed Gypsy.

Opening Friday, the space was redesigned by visionary Dana Hollister (Villains Tavern, Cliff's Edge) and reads like a valentine to a sword swallower. The massive bar plays center stage, braced with gold-framed mirrors, busts and statues. Circus-like curtains are drawn about a cabaret stage - only to be raised for any number of off-beat entertainer, be it magician, singer, or fire eater. Candles flicker. Chandeliers drip with Bedouin jewelry imported from Egypt. Functioning fortune telling machines flash their weathered boardwalk bulbs.

Two working skee-ball lanes and a massive stuffed yak prove Odalisque designer Hollister isn't not messing around on this one. Not to mention the Medusa wallpaper was custom designed and coffee-stained by hand.

But Hollister's goal, tricks aside, is to create a real neighborhood bar with the Gypsy.
So what about the potables? The Surley Sailor is a tastier grog than the sum of its parts (Gosling's Dark Rum, white rum, 151, blackberries, fresh pineapple, lime), but I preferred The Riddler's Punch, a refreshingly dry sangria with Haute Vodka, Cabernet, fresh fruit & citrus juices. A selection of "Cheap Dates" run only $8, including Gypsy Juice, a sexy hippie sipper of Plymouth Gin, citrus, sloe gin & hard apple cider.

I nibbled on selections from the menu's twisted county fair fare, such as sweet potato tots and bbq pork & jalapeño pizza, while the same eccentric barmaid spun tales of "ghostly white woman" who used to walk the halls upstairs (before an earthquake in the eighties leveled that story). 

"Tell yours, Dave!" she called to bar manager Dave Young, who reticently recounted a day when he was stocking the bar and a voice behind him softly said his name, only to find he was in fact all alone. I saw the bartender's eyes shift to the woman behind Dave.

"Oh, hey - Are you the psychic?"

901 E. 1st St., Downtown LA 90012
One-Eyed Gypsy